could you please check my game metadata.

guillefaceguilleface Member Posts: 1,014
in Working with GS (Mac)
hi my game is in review, and my english is not so good, please let me know if i have some errors on my description . and if you could make it better like add something else i can give you some promo codes for you kids,app will cost 1.99 for iPad.thanks

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/46439975/ipad6.PNG


"Snake & Ladders Coins Edition" is a new fun way to play this board game. A unique new twist will keep your kids playing for hours.

"Features"
*1 player
*2 players
*coins Mode
*Regular Mode
*3 different unique boards.
*8 colorful background boards.
*12 avatars to choose from.
*Instructions how to play.

Comments

  • tatiangtatiang Member, Sous Chef, PRO, Senior Sous-Chef Posts: 11,949
    Your description is fine.

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  • lycettebroslycettebros Member, PRO Posts: 1,598
    @guilleface

    SUGGESTED EDITS:
    "Snakes & Ladders Coins Edition" is a new and fun way to play this classic board game with a unique twist that will keep you playing for hours.


    *Single player mode
    *2 player mode
    *Coins Mode
    *3 different boards
    *8 colorful backgrounds.
    *12 avatars to choose from
    *Instructions how to play

    - Snakes and Ladders not Snake & ladders.
    - Remove: *Regular Mode (would remove this as it is not clear....what is a regular mode?)
    - Remove "unique" from "3 different unique boards"...unique is similar to different - or at least read poorly.
    Warning There was an error rendering this rich post.
  • guillefaceguilleface Member Posts: 1,014
    thank you lacyttebros i can read yours better :) let me know if you want some promo codes.
  • lycettebroslycettebros Member, PRO Posts: 1,598
    yes please @guilleface
    @guilleface

    SUGGESTED EDITS:
    "Snakes & Ladders Coins Edition" is a new and fun way to play this classic board game with a unique twist that will keep you playing for hours.


    *Single player mode
    *2 player mode
    *Coins Mode
    *3 different boards
    *8 colorful backgrounds
    *12 avatars to choose from
    *Instructions how to play

    - Snakes and Ladders not Snake & ladders.
    - Remove: *Regular Mode (would remove this as it is not clear....what is a regular mode?)
    - Remove "unique" from "3 different unique boards"...unique is similar to different - or at least read poorly.
    Sorry further improvements - corrections to my corrections to the 'features' list:

    *Single player mode
    *2 player mode
    *Coins Mode
    *3 different boards
    *8 colorful backgrounds
    *12 avatars to play


    - Remove: *Instructions how to play (instructions really are expected in a game not a feature I would argue).
    - Remove '.' after the boards point (no full stop is needed for these)
    - Slight edit to the last one to read like a point instead of a sentence and shorter.
    Warning There was an error rendering this rich post.
  • GS_MasterGS_Master Member Posts: 159
    edited February 2013
    hahaha @lycettebros "corrections to my corrections" XD
    That's great.
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