@Rabid Parrot said:
Lol Socks, well it's been better than the descriptions that I've been able to come up with. If you have any references or tips I'm all ears.
Like I say this is in no way a criticism of you . . . but . . . why would anyone pay for this stuff ! I'm sure you could come up with something better yourself !?
For example, what does this line mean: This old school game is great for game new and experienced alike!
Didn't the fiver guy bother to proofread this stuff ?
And what about this: Professionally develop and expertly created all ages gaming experience
Even if we ignore the word 'develop' being used in place of 'developed', it's still an awkward line only just hanging on to English syntax !
Sorry to be so frank, but even with the errors removed it's not great writing, you see better writing on the forum every day, by people not being paid to write.
And is 'Fun game' the best this guy could come up with for a feature ?
Ah, I see. I should probably just allocate time to write my own description. That is what I get for quickly skimming over the description and saying "That looks alright." Thanks @Socks
@Rabid Parrot said:
Ah, I see. I should probably just allocate time to write my own description. That is what I get for quickly skimming over the description and saying "That's looks alright." Thanks Socks
Just write your own description, post it here and let people make suggestions as how to refine it (and check for errors).
tatiangMember, Sous Chef, PRO, Senior Sous-ChefPosts: 11,949
@Rabid Parrot said:
Ah, I see. I should probably just allocate time to write my own description. That is what I get for quickly skimming over the description and saying "That's looks alright." Thanks Socks
Your use of syntax, grammar rules, spelling, and "voice" in the quote above is worlds better than what you paid for. I'd say to trust your instincts and consider posting a description here for people to critique and improve.
@tatiang said:
Your use of syntax, grammar rules, spelling, and "voice" in the quote above is worlds better than what you paid for. I'd say to trust your instincts and consider posting a description here for people to critique and improve.
Hmmm... Maybe the broken English and bad grammar of the Fiverr version will appeal more to today's youth?
Don't know if it's the same in the US, but here in Britain half of the kids don't know how to put proper sentences together and use mobile text speak as standard.
So maybe having a badly written app description might actually work... If aiming at the right age group
RabidParrot
Formally RabidParrot.Member Posts: 956
Comments
I have to be honest here, this is terrible !
This is no criticism of you, this is a criticism of the Fiverr user who wrote the description for you.
The writing feels amateurish and is littered with errors.
Lol @Socks, well it's been better than the descriptions that I've been able to come up with. If you have any references or tips I'm all ears.
Like I say this is in no way a criticism of you . . . but . . . why would anyone pay for this stuff ! I'm sure you could come up with something better yourself !?
For example, what does this line mean: This old school game is great for game new and experienced alike!
Didn't the fiver guy bother to proofread this stuff ?
And what about this: Professionally develop and expertly created all ages gaming experience
Even if we ignore the word 'develop' being used in place of 'developed', it's still an awkward line only just hanging on to English syntax !
Sorry to be so frank, but even with the errors removed it's not great writing, you see better writing on the forum every day, by people not being paid to write.
And is 'Fun game' the best this guy could come up with for a feature ?
Ah, I see. I should probably just allocate time to write my own description. That is what I get for quickly skimming over the description and saying "That looks alright." Thanks @Socks
Just write your own description, post it here and let people make suggestions as how to refine it (and check for errors).
Your use of syntax, grammar rules, spelling, and "voice" in the quote above is worlds better than what you paid for. I'd say to trust your instincts and consider posting a description here for people to critique and improve.
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Yep agree save yourself a fiver.
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Hmmm... Maybe the broken English and bad grammar of the Fiverr version will appeal more to today's youth?
Don't know if it's the same in the US, but here in Britain half of the kids don't know how to put proper sentences together and use mobile text speak as standard.
So maybe having a badly written app description might actually work... If aiming at the right age group
Hehe @Chunkypixels I have often thought in a similar manner it is actually a legitimate marketing move, even though I hate to say it let alone do it.
@lycettebros it could be the winning combination, if paired up with @quantumsheep's now proven strategy of uploading the wrong screenshots
Just need someone willing to try both