I'm not sure how many of you like books, however mine is done! Please check this out!

kipdev

https://www.facebook.com/TalesofCasporix is the Facebook page. Please like it, if you find the story interesting. It is a 3 book series.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/b013bdap3y Is the link to download the book FOR FREE!. Now through Saturday!

Again thanks for the support, and please leave comments, here or on my Facebook page.

jamie_c

Another publisher, nice! Good luck with the book!

pHghost

Nice!

kipdev

Thank you guys so much for the support. I've put months, months of thought in this story line before I even started writting it. This is only the first book! Too more to come. Then I'm going to make a comic book series. Please don't forget to go like the TalesofCasporix Facebook page.

Thank you!
-Kip

pHghost

@kipdev

Just finished reading it.

Congrats on getting the book out there! Now the hard part. Getting better.

I really suggest finding an editor. To start, this doesn't have to be anyone paid, all you need is someone you trust who will be willing to read your work and give you honest (which means tough) feedback, to make your work better.

The fact is, that the text is full of typos, loose grammar, inconsistent mixing of tenses and quite a few gaping plot holes. Work on learning how to consistently eliminate those as much as you can. But remember -- even professional writers have editors, it is a must!

Don't lose heart and keep on going!

P.S. Considering that this is the first part in a series, I would recommend getting an editor on board even for revisiting this text and tightening it up, otherwise it might be a stumbling block for people who could otherwise be interested in the story.

jamie_c

@kipdev, I haven't read the book yet. But if you don't have anyone to help with proofreading like @pHghost suggests I recommend checking out proofreaders on fiver. You're book is short enough that I'm sure you could have it proofread for a very reasonable fee.

kipdev

I had someone that was going to edit the book for me. I Even provided him with a copy of the book. The problem was, I knew he wanted to write books. Well he ended up losing his job, the day I provided the book to him. I was worried that he was going to steal the idea of the book, so I got worried, and severely rushed publishing. @pHghost if you have the time, I'd really like to talk to you on the phone about the book. Message me your number if your interested. I just really want everything to be perfect from a readers view. What part of the plot seemed to be missing?

pHghost

@kipdev said:
I was worried that he was going to steal the idea of the book, so I got worried, and severely rushed publishing.

Yeah, as I wrote, it should be someone you can trust. That means either someone you know quite well in real life, or someone with whom you will sign a contract, including a NDA. And you should have a contract even in the former case. It needn't be a hugely robust contract, just outlining that the person is dealing with your IP and mustn't misuse it.

@kipdev said:
@pHghost if you have the time, I'd really like to talk to you on the phone about the book. Message me your number if your interested. I just really want everything to be perfect from a readers view. What part of the plot seemed to be missing?

I'm incredibly busy in the coming days. I'll be on holiday mid-August, and could possibly talk to you on Skype then. What country do you live in?

I'll try to put some thoughts about the story structure down in writing and send you a PM, but it might take some time as well.

kipdev

@pHghost I'm in the United States. But that sounds good about giving me some ideas to improve the story structure. I am working on getting an editor. I just wanted to know, as a reader, what you thought was missing from the plot. I will be happy to wait until you are ready (Nothing better than a vacation). You can just email if you'd like... kipdevdeveloper@gmail.com and again I REALLY APPRECIATE your time. Have a great vacation.

-Kip

pHghost

@kipdev said:
@pHghost I'm in the United States.

Which coast, or in the middle? Basically, I'm trying to figure out the time difference from you to London.

@kipdev said:
I just wanted to know, as a reader, what you thought was missing from the plot.

By plot holes I meant things that don't make much sense in the logic of the universe, and might make the reader doubt events, lose attachment to characters, rather than things missing. Anyway, I'll go into more detail later.

kipdev

@pHghost I live in Kansas. Smack in the middle of the United States...I really appreciate the feedback my friend. I look forward to more tips. I'm actually am considering a complete rewrite of the whole book. Where its from a "Gods View", instead of being a journal of Deiham.

robertkdale

I will heck it out.

Lovejoy

I haven't read a book start to finish in my entire life, not about to start now Was this done as a Gamesalad project? If so, what a nice diverse way of using it. I wish you the best.

kipdev

Thanks for the support